My surroundings became astoundingly gray as my mind focused elsewhere. The mind ignored everything in space as it reflected on its own thinking. Reflecting isn’t the best word choice; rather, drowned in its own thinking. Yet, I remained distant from grasping the true nature of the mental state in which I was engulfed in. Did I avidly choose to be in that state? Is ‘free will’ involved? those were questions I prepared to tackle later; but for now, on a cellular level it seems that I am utilizing every ATP molecule to ‘guide’ my attention to the task of deciphering the root cause of my thinking. Guide, that is the word, I was possessed by the very task that I immersed my mind in, and I began to weave the philosophical ocean. My mind drifted slightly, as I ironically ‘pondered’ further; why am I taking on this extensive task? Perhaps I am seeking an intrinsic pleasure in solving the issue I presented to my mind.


Then, I felt it, a tap on my right shoulder, “I AM ON A BUS”- my mind screamed. A passenger that I have trapped between my body and the window… she wanted to exit. I found myself lost in an objective reality as I stood up to let her out. I sat down, anxiously retracing my mental steps in order to re-tackle my thought processes. Right then and there my body shivered; goosebumps peaking their head through my skin, running down my spine in a wave like fashion. “I think I solved it”- my mind uttered.

If I can speak in a theoretical way, trapping a physical entity within an ‘identical’ physical entity (i.e. trapping box A inside itself) cannot possibly exist; but, in a world where it could, the composition of boxes would not further clarify why box A continues to exist. Likewise, trapping thought A (namely; pondering) with an identical thought (i.e. pondering) can exist (i.e. pondering about pondering); however, this cannot clarify the existence of the initial thought.

A thought can never explain itself by itself.  

30 thoughts on “I Ponder, Why Am I Pondering?

  1. The act of tapping your shoulder triggered great insight. Usually, when riding a bus, it is a bit of an ordeal for me. But you found it quite rewarding. No one says “Excuse me” anymore. They assume you know to get up when they begin to rustle in their seat. And they always want to get out way before they reach their stop. In such a meaningless rush.

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  2. Is that why one cannot pick oneself up in a basket no matter how strong one might be ? Forgive my pale attempt at humor, it is only that I find ludicrous to be just the proper medicine to get me back to normal after experiencing an epiphany ! Thanks for sharing ! ; )

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  3. Does this explain people who I did not know where there complaining about my staring at them? Why don’t they believe that I didn’t see them or know they were there if my eyeballs were directed at them? When I am really thinking, I don’t see anything. I just “sense” my thoughts.

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