I Ponder, Why Am I Pondering?

            My surroundings became astoundingly gray as my mind focused elsewhere. The mind ignored everything in space as it reflected on its own thinking. Reflecting isn’t the best word choice; rather, drowned in its own thinking. Yet, I remained distant from grasping the true nature of the mental state in which I was engulfed in. Did I avidly choose to be in that state? Is ‘free will’ involved? those were questions I prepared to tackle later; but for now, on a cellular level it seems that I am utilizing every ATP molecule to ‘guide’ my attention to the task of deciphering the root cause of my thinking. Guide, that is the word, I was possessed by the very task that I immersed my mind in, and I began to weave the philosophical ocean. My mind drifted slightly, as I ironically ‘pondered’ further; why am I taking on this extensive task? Perhaps I am seeking an intrinsic pleasure in solving the issue I presented to my mind.

Then, I felt it, a tap on my right shoulder, “I AM ON A BUS”- my mind screamed. A passenger that I have trapped between my body and the window… she wanted to exit. I found myself lost in an objective reality as I stood up to let her out. I sat down, anxiously retracing my mental steps in order to re-tackle my thought processes. Right then and there my body shivered; goosebumps peaking their head through my skin, running down my spine in a wave like fashion. “I think I solved it”- my mind uttered.

If I can speak in a theoretical way, trapping a physical entity within an ‘identical’ physical entity (i.e. trapping box A inside itself) cannot possibly exist; but, in a world where it could, the composition of boxes would not further clarify why box A continues to exist. Likewise, trapping thought A (namely; pondering) with an identical thought (i.e. pondering) can exist (i.e. pondering about pondering); however, this cannot clarify the existence of the initial thought.

A thought can never explain itself by itself.